This is the miraculous story of how God intervened into my life and stopped me from succumbing to my biggest temptation after battling to overcome it for a few years. In moments when you think life is unbearable, God will send you an unmistakable sign, if you first call for help! I was not sure if I should reveal this private battle of mine and look weak, but miracles, no matter how small, are there to inspire us, so I have no right to keep it private! :)
Every one has one big physical temptation, which they struggle with, in life. It is a spiritual law—even a saint will have one major weakness which he will need to work on overcoming. Sex, overeating, alcohol, cigarettes and drugs are some of the most common outer expressions of these weaknesses, which are usually rooted in more psychological such like dishonesty, pessimism, procrastination, selfishness, etc. If this weakness is very deeply seated from many past lives, one might need to spend as many as 4 incarnations working on uprooting it! For me it happens to be drinking. I loved it from the moment I first got tipsy at 17! I knew I have found a “friend” and a crutch for life right there and then! But with a friend like that who needs enemies?! My 12 year dangerous and thrilling affair with drinking had began. I was never a daily drinker, just twice a week, but a binge, blackout drinker! Oh, the shame! For better or worse, I do not remember much of my crazy escapades but my poor loved ones do! Maturity came, I started my career as an astrologer and it was clear from the start that I cannot carry on drinking because alcohol reduces intuition and interferes with the channels of clear perception and divine inspiration which a good astrologer/healer needs in order to make correct predictions! After a night out I would need up to 4 days in order to get my intuition clicking again and the horoscope to be “talking” to me. I do not know how it is with other astrologers/psychics but for me, whenever I am picking the right threads and patterns in a birth chart, I feel a warming expansion coming from the solar plexus area, and my skin gets goose bumps! I know, that I am on the right track then and my Higher Self is talking. Alcohol switches this off! So I had to give up my “Best friend” up!
What followed was as epic as the “Lord of the Rings” final battle! It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but it opened the gates of abundance and success as I could not have dared to dream! But that is for another article! In the past two months, my schedule became extremely hectic, and I was not able to switch off or relax properly after a busy day. I started becoming more and more discontent, no amount of jogging, cooking, Madmen or Big Bang Theory tv breaks could fill in this increasing tension and emptiness within! I started slowly allowing the thought that I could maybe have drink again one night: “I deserve it, after all this hard work for the past 2 years! I will not do it again after!” Nurturing these thoughts, increased the desire so powerfully in me that I started going mad at night and not being able to think about anything else, so for the past month I became obsessive. I think they call this being a dry drunk: not drinking but thinking of nothings else! It is a dark place to be!
This afternoon I decided I go for run, to dispel these thoughts because they were so powerful again. After 20 minutes I collapsed on a bench close to tears, even the sport was not helping. I was ready to give up my hard won sobriety for a night of “Blissful alcohol oblivion”. But I was going to pray for one last time before: “God, please, please, give me a sign if you want me to be stronger! I don’t have the human willpower to fight further! Am I ever going to be free of this obsession and stop suffering?! Is there an end to this emotional hell? Please God give me a sign before I go and do it!” These were my exact words. I left for home, crushed and discouraged thinking that maybe tomorrow I will do it….and then, just before I was about to enter my complex….God spoke to me! Well, not in my head, but God speaks to us through other people or omens. He sent me a sign. A lady approached me gently and just handed me this leaflet which said on its cover “ All suffering soon to end”, she also repeated the message and told me:"Do you know that your suffering will soon be over?". I think she was from Jehova’s witnesses, but this does not matter, because I got this amazingly clear and unambiguous sign from my Higher Self/Christ/God! I should not worry and despair because this painful state of mind will soon be lifted from my shoulders and I will be free from the obsession! Well, the moment I got this sign, I was relieved,the impact of message was enough to give me strength to carry on and not succumb! Here is te actual leaflet I got:
I urge you to do the same in a moment of despair: call onto your Higher power and ask for a sign! You might not see an real angel, but God will send you an angel in a human or other shape to give you a message! I keep being freshly amazed every time this happens, even though it has been happening a lot lately in my life, but then again I have been asking a lot for help recently! It is great to know that you are not alone during the big tests of life!
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