Jennie Astrologer


Hello fellow star travelers!
This is Ms. Jennie. I am a professional astrology, clairvoyant and soothsayer. My style is direct and “to the bone”, my approach is pragmatic and compassionate. Having a reading with me is like sitting down to have a life chat with your favorite aunt who loves you but doesn’t have to spare your feelings because she feels sorry for you. And frankly, if you are clearly being the fly-attracting-end-of-a-donkey about something, I am not going to sugar coat that fact and make it sound light, fluffy and sweet because I am afraid you will get mad at me for calling you on it. I care about you, and people who care about you are honest with you, especially when you are being foolish.
I believe you are stronger than your problems, better than the easy answers in life and deserve more than living in fantasy island when you aren’t chained to the millstone. And that is what you are going to get, information intended to make you stronger, brighter, and more amazing in a no-holds barred, pull your head out of the sand and 'get to stepping and living’ delivery that is filled with affection for you and confidence in you. Your job is to really live your life and heal yourself. My job is to help you figure out how to make that happen better.
Most important, I am completely non-judgmental about lifestyles and identities so if you are a power bottom, gender queer, polyandrous, pansexual, weather balloon fetishist with a question about whether you should have inter-galactic species reassignment surgery or continue living your life as a 6 foot tall squirrel costume wearing Furry who can only find solace and comfort in Smurf Berry Crunch cereal and PBR beer to get through the day… *I am not going to judge you. (Some of my favorite people fall into one or more of those categories!) You are safe here and, more importantly, you are believed in. So be yourself, whichever version of that fits you best and pull up a seat at my table and let’s chat.

There are rules for this to ensure that they get the best possible reading from this. Please make sure people are aware of this before they book their reading.

  1. There’s no such thing as a silly or trivial question unless it is a question about being famous, when you will die, or if you will ever fall in love. Asking if should buy that mint condition imitation Freddy Fender guitar with sparkling, glitter flames across the body? This is NOT a silly question. Asking if you will become a doctor when you can barely do algebra and your memory is about as ironclad as a sieve? Not only is this a silly question but the Cosmos has a sense of humor in situations like this. But, hey, its your dime for the cheap entertainment so spend that dime in any way that suits you. Just don’t say you weren’t warned about the quality of answer you end up with.
  2. Your best approach? Be specific, serious and adult about the questions. Vague or meta-philosophical questions like “will I be famous?”, “when will I die?”, or “will I ever fall in love?” – will not be taken seriously or given a definitive answer for obvious reasons. Example: If you really want to know if you will be famous, the better question is … will I receive recognition or higher status for _____ ? And be prepared for answers you aren’t in love with. Being famous at something isn’t the same thing as being a world respected expert in your field. Ask any scientist that changed the world that no one has ever heard of and then compare that to the Kardashians… whose greatest contribution so far has been how to act like a disrespectful and vulgar daughter and insult your mother regularly on television like this is an acceptable way to behave as a female with any class or manners.
  3. I DO NOT ENTERTAIN MEDICAL, FINANCIAL OR LEGAL QUESTIONS. If you have concerns in any of those areas, I strongly recommend that you see the people qualified in the real world to help you with those matters. They pursued educations, licenses and professional credentials for specific reasons of expertise. Utilize them, not an oracle, when you have those specific concerns. 
  4. Have a list of questions that are specific to YOU. I will not answer questions for other folks, about other folks or look at charts of friends or lovers without their permission. 
  5. If the question is about a missing person, I want to see that the a missing person complaint has actually been filed and the exact time of the call to the police, if possible. This is the only time I will make this exception.
  6. If an astrology chart is specifically requested, I will need to see a proof of ID and date of birth to confirm that the reading I am giving is for the person requesting it. 
  7. On rare occasions, I will look at two charts for relationship questions. Please inquire first about what your needs are before buying a reading to be sure I can accommodate your request.
  8. Finally, relax and enjoy your reading. Spirit has a way of sending information that makes NO sense when we hear it but often manifests in unexpected ways later. It is better to avoid pre-judging the information or answers until we see how it actually appears in our life. I am one of the world’s biggest skeptic and critic of the metaphysical “readers” for as long as I can remember and I can tell you that the times when a reader told me something that made absolutely no sense to me at the time and didn’t seem to fit anything I was sure of in my life … sure enough, years later… what they said came back to haunt me by appearing in ways that I could have never seen coming. Life is full of surprises. Allow yourself to be open to them. ????
  9. The reading typically runs from 30-60 minutes. FYI - you do not get more information if the reading takes longer. It only means that it took a little extra time to find the answer for you. I am very straight-to-the-point when I communicate so this isn’t about selling you air time, this is about getting you clear answers. When things are on point, we can get all the information you are asking for, and more, in 30 minutes without any delays. When things are a little more murky or need a bit more clarification, we could need up to 60 minutes to get through the process because the info is coming in slower or in more confusing ways. I tell folks 30-60 minutes so they can plan their personal schedules accordingly JUST IN CASE we are running past the 30 minute mark.

Here are my services

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Cornucopia Reading. $50!

$50 – Cornucopia reading. This is a general reading that can include any combination of the following: astrology, tarot, crystal ball, spirit guides, bone readings or palmistry – depending on what they want an answer to and which will best answer the question, the fastest and easiest. Contact Jenny from the form to give your details and questions 

Here you can contact me or leave me a feedback